Some math not handled by Excel

Hoohoo

Romance math:
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Office math:
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

Shopping theorems:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item that he needs
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need

Happiness theorems:
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little
To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all

Need theorems
A man wants all women to satisfy his one need
A woman wants one man to satisfy all her needs

Longivity theorem
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are more willing to die

Statistics
A woman will worry about the future until she gets a husband
A man never worries about future until he gets a wife
A successful man makes more money than his wife can spend
A successful woman is one who can find such a man