I have exactly same situation as you. same pain as you have.
even we understand this 不值得 us 托付一生 now, but how difficult to separate since 2 kids here.
So I just want younger girl be more careful before you marry with one man.
(Sorry, my current computer can not type Chinese)
so simple. Your husband is good person, that is it!
Would you use $20K to buy a good husband and happy family? I do think it worth it!
Just let him know this is your bottom line, no more money for his family member anymore.
Just be generous and you will be happy and have everything.